i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
