Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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