We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
