I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
