If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
