ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
please come you make the beer taste better
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize