I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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