Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
NoShamevember. You game?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
