i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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