Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
