he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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