he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
