You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
