apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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