I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
