once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
