yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
