careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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