I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
