I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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