Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
