Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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