oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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