Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
