Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
