i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my poor anus
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
