I need to stop coming to work sober
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
