the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
