Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
