You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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