East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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