I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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