Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
