This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
