I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
