so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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