well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
