Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I supernannyed him into submission
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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