3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize