i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
