if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
