The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
