Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
