So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
