Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
