woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
