I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
