i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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