hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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