Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
