U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
