this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
