You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
