He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize