Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
