He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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