so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My bed smells like the plague
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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