Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
