I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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