Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
