you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
