there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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