I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize