You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
