When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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