And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
