One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
