i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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