whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize