I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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