hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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