I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
