If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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