He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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